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Denial

Happy Fall and welcome to September!

The past few months of relative quietness here have been a period of thinking for me. I’ve asked myself, why do I do this–write, especially poetry? Why do I post it here? Do I want to keep doing this?

This June before holidays I lived under a cloud of particularly thick ennui. Maybe I should just stop writing altogether… but what would I do? 

It has been good for me to ponder these questions.

In the beginning of August, after a great holiday (and a writing break) I felt revived but continued to wrestle with, what do I do in the fall with the poetry blog?

As a Christian, perhaps it was to be expected that I would need to get as close as possible to the bone in quizzing myself. The question that finally floated into my mind to help me sort through this is from the Shorter Westminster Catechism:

Q: What is the chief end of man?

A: Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.

In applying that Q&A to my situation I asked, would I be glorifying God if I stopped writing, that is, using the talent and expanding the skill and interest in words that is part of who I am?

Does it please Him when I squirrel away my writing in binders on the shelf? Do any of us have insights and realizations just for ourselves? Or are they given to bless and help others along the way? (Not that I ever feel that everything one writes needs to be shared!)

How can I better glorify Him with what I do?

Can I do that here?

How would it look?

I have decided as a result of introspection and prayer to be more open and candid about my faith in the poems I post here. In other words, in the days ahead you’ll find more poems that reflect my spiritual pilgrimage and beliefs. Of course I’ll also still write about nature and other topics that catch my fancy.

Enough philosophizing! It’s time for a poem. This is one I found in my binder, written a number of years ago.

Crow

Crow – Photo © 2015 by V. Nesdoly

Denial

Me: This lamp will be perfect for the table where my husband studies.
Clerk: What does he study?
Me: Uh, uh, …oh stuff.

He studies the Bible.
I know that.
It’s really the only thing he studies.
But did I say it?

No.

Automatically I veer toward cowardice.
My default setting: Be private about your faith
After all you don’t want to appear
odd, different or, heaven forbid,
be expected to explain!

On my way through the park
crows call triplet caws
and I hang my head
embarrassed, ashamed
robbed of excuses.

I will go
into my closet
and weep.

© 2015 by Violet Nesdoly

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Added September 3rd: My Poetry Friday friend Margaret Simon invited me to join in on “Spiritual Journey Thursday” hosted by Holly Mueller at her blog Reading, Teaching, Learning where this week’s theme is “paying attention.” Thank you, ladies! I hope you teachers don’t mind being joined by an ex- who has been away from the classroom lo these many years, but who is still trying to pay attention to what God is teaching her.

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10 Comments

Posted by on September 1, 2015 in Religious

 

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January Sunshine

Meadowlark on a fence post.

Meadowlark photographed at Blackie’s Spit, White Rock B.C. in January 2007.

Thanks to Keri at Keri Recommends and Dorraine Bennet at Dori Reads for adding wonderful rays of sunshine to my day and, over the last little while, nominating this blog for a SUNSHINE AWARD!  That’s definitely the way to brighten up a foggy January!

Here are the (flexible) rules:

1. Acknowledge the nominating bloggers
2. Share 11 random facts about yourself
3. Answer the 11 questions the nominating blogger creates for you
4. List 11 bloggers you nominate for a Sunshine Award.
5. Post 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate to answer and let all the bloggers know they’ve been nominated. (You cannot nominate the blogger who nominated you.)

11 Facts
– I’m the oldest of nine. I grew up on a farm. I love my garden more than it loves me. Chocolate and more chocolate please. I get into breakfast habits—current one: porridge and yogurt with fruit. I despise buying shoes. We got our first computer in 1991. In another life I was a medical transcriptionist.  I hate being cold. I crochet when I watch TV. I love the sport of curling (watching not playing).

11 Questions from Keri / Dorraine (I picked some from both)

1. A book you wish you had written?
Daphne DuMaurier’s Rebecca – that is one cool book!

2. Next place you hope to visit?
Dawson Creek, B.C. That’s in the northeast of our province (where it is winter in earnest).  I’m planning to visit in February to help with the grands when my daughter’s little one is due.

3. Early bird or night owl?
Early bird.

4. Comedy or drama?
Drama

5. Do you listen to music when you write? If so, what kind?
No music or if I do, it can’t have any words. Music with lyrics is way too distracting for me to write by.

6. Best thing your mother taught you?
It’s okay to make a mess when you’re creating something.

7. What do you do first thing in the morning?
Turn on the coffee (which my husband has set up the night before) and shower.

8. When you’re in a crowd, do you find a corner or work the room?
Corner—trying to get better at working the room.

9. Something you like to cook/bake?
Cookies—especially chocolate chip.

10. Beach or mountains?
Beach.

11. What makes you smile?
British humour.

Passing the Sunshine Award on to these bloggers because they brighten my day!

Kiwiskan – at Kiwisoar
Ellen Grace Olinger at Poems from Oostburg, Wisconson
Catherine at Catherine Johnson
Magical Mystical Teacher
Joy Acey at Poetry for Kids Joy
Mary Lee Hahn at A Year of Reading
Jama at Jama’s Alphabet Soup
Laura Purdie Salas at Writing the World for Kids
Diane Mayr at Random Noodling
CallingForth
Mary Waind at Beech Croft Tales

And now here are 11 questions from me if choose to play along (please don’t feel obligated).

1. What’s your favourite ice-cream?
2. What was your biggest childhood fear?
3. What’s your hobby?
4. Are there any skills you had as a kid but have lost?
5. What’s your favourite weather?
6. Do you write first drafts with pen or at the keyboard?
7. Were you happy with your name as a kid? If not, what did you wish it was?
8. Do you prefer reading books or watching movies?
9. What’s your favourite section in the library?
10. What’s your favourite city? Why?
11. In sports are you a player or spectator?

 
8 Comments

Posted by on January 21, 2014 in Nature, Personal

 

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Blog Gremlins

Blog Gremlins

Months and months of work
an index linked with care
hundreds of blog posts
I’d find each one from there.

One day its permalink
I clicked to make a change
before my startled eye
not only rearranged

but totally replaced
and in its place the page
I had been working on!
I was in shock, enraged

I back-clicked, pressed “Undo”
closed, exited and feared
re-opened, fears confirmed
my index disappeared.

Who ate my bits and bytes
exchanging them for prose?
Wait till I meet those nerds
I’ll punch them in the nose!

© 2013 by Violet Nesdoly (All rights reserved)

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This poem is written for the November 30th prompt: “Write a disappearing poem. Simple as that….”

The event described above really happened to me. I write a daily devotional blog and had made index pages on my Blogger blog (Old and New Testament) linking each post under its  Bible book in chapter order. One day when I went to update that page with the URL of the piece I had just written (in my usual way) my index was gone, entirely replaced with the post I had just been working on! How that happened I have no idea.

Fortunately I had saved that Blogger index page some months earlier as a Word.doc and was keeping it updated (sort of). I have since taken the index pages off the site, so the gremlins no longer have access to them (I don’t think…).  And of course the ‘punch in the nose’ bit is all in fun and in the service of rhyme. I know, it’s hardly in keeping with the “turn the other cheek” attitude the Bible tells us to have.

AND WITH THIS POEM I COMPLETE THE NOVEMBER CHAPBOOK CHALLENGE.

I DID IT!!! I wrote 30 new poems this month.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on November 30, 2013 in Light

 

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