O Mocking Bassinet
O mocking bassinet and now unneeded treasure hoard of pink and blue, I cannot look at you. O mutinous organ, inhospitable home full of treachery and betrayal, Why expel this tiny life most loved? O unrefreshing rain of tears and blood Fill up my heart’s black bottomless void – All that is left of motherhood.
© 2004 by Violet Nesdoly
(First published in Calendar)
Twenty-nine years ago today I was in despair. I was in hospital because my pregnancy wasn’t behaving. Sometime in the afternoon of April 8, 1982 it ended in a surgical procedure after the doctor no longer detected the baby’s heartbeat.
Quite a few years after that experience, I wrote the poem, above, in an attempt to revisit that bleak day and express the sadness of miscarriage.
I am so blessed because that wasn’t my last pregnancy!